Gender Affirming Therapy

gender affirmation,
celebration & joy

Majority of my clients are folks exploring their gender identities and expressions. This ranges from people who feel secure in their gender identities, to people who are bravely imagining different ways of being for themselves. There is no right or wrong place to be in your process. There is no being “behind” or “too late.” Where you are at is where you need to be, and I feel passionate about meeting you there.

Not all people know that they are trans or non-binary from a young age. Not all people have that “aha” moment and move full steam ahead. Some folks come to therapy realizing that the way they have historically thought of themselves and their gender has changed—and in a manner that they cannot ignore. This can be relieving, enlightening, confusing, scary, anxiety-inducing, confronting, exposing, joyous, etc. There might be a moment of, “I think this is me,” and “if it is, what does this mean for my life? For the way I move through the world? For my relationships?” Together we can talk about the nuances—the highs, the lows, the in-betweens—of exploring gender identity.

For some, exploring gender is the main focus of our work together. For others, it’s an entry point to discussing other salient identities and significant aspects of their lives (e.g., dating as a trans or non-binary person, coming out at work, finding new friends with shared identities or experiences). The focus of therapy may change over the course of our treatment depending on people's needs; as with anything else, the course of emotional healing changes based on what feels present at any particular time. However it goes, I’ll be with you along the way.

Gender affirming therapy is an opportunity to be seen in full. To indulge in delight and be celebrated. To be unapologetic. To feel free from heterosexism, cisgenderism, and harmful masculinity. To be abundant. To make room for joy, pride, power, pleasure, love, and community.

a note on anti-trans legislation

In the current political landscape where trans identities and experiences are actively, publicly being interrogated, criticized, criminalized, and pathologized, this work feels incredibly important. There is space for us to discuss the impact of anti-trans laws on one’s own sense of self and gender exploration. There is space to grieve, to be scared, to not know what the future holds.

I can support with:

  • anxiety/worry

  • stress responses

  • depression

  • grief

  • shame

In relation to:

  • Language around gender identity/identities and pronouns

  • Exploration of gender expressions, and the role of uncertainty

  • Internalized and external transphobia

  • Gender dysphoria

  • Gender euphoria!

  • Hormone therapy (decisions to start or stop, experiences with effects of hormones, managing others’ reactions to decisions about hormones)

  • Gender affirming surgeries (decisions to explore or not, building a care team for pre and post-surgery support)

  • Creating communities of care

  • Decisions to come out or not

  • Self-advocacy within families, friendships, partnerships

  • Navigating school or workplaces as a non-cis person

  • Creating a safe space for sex, pleasure, and other kinds of intimate touch

  • Intersections of gender with other salient identities

support for loved ones of
trans & non-binary folks

I enjoy working with folks who are navigating their own feelings and experiences to a loved one’s gender identity shift and/or transition. Sometimes it’s helpful to have a private space outside of the relationship to sort through what is coming up, especially if there is nervousness about asking questions directly, feeling grief or confusion, and/or not knowing where to start with resources and support.

Some folks might not feel comfortable exploring their feelings about another’s gender identity or transition with a transgender clinician. There may be fear of saying the “wrong” thing and hurting my feelings. There may be fear that I won’t be able to provide neutral feedback. I encourage you to think about what it would mean for you to decide to work together. I also encourage you to think about how it might feel to discuss your experiences with a cisgender person. There is no judgment or right/wrong answer; reflecting on these things can help you decide what would be most helpful.

What if instead of relying on made-up gender norms for stability, we instead relied on each other? What if instead of fearing change, we recognized that change is an integral part of societal growth?

- Alok Vaid-Menon