Therapy
invites us
to stretch!
Our therapy will include:
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Relational Curiosity
I ask questions with genuine curiosity. I do not ask thinking that I already know the answer. I want to hear from you, to listen, in your own language, what is true. This means that I am also tracking my own biases to prevent any prescriptive impositions on your healing.
Working relationally also means that I am curious about what happens in our therapy relationship. This could mean exploring fears around intimacy and vulnerability with another person, making space for unintentional wounds that could occur in the session, and checking in about how the connection is feeling.
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Cultural Humility & Accountability
People are wonderfully complex, beautiful, and surprising. I am excited to learn from you about your unique experiences.
I believe that you are the expert of your experience; I am a visitor and a guide. While my intersecting identities offer me perspective in joining with you, I do not know your world better than you do. I meet you where you are at without putting you in an educator position.
I will make some mistakes along the way. This is part of working together as humans. My hope is that we can discuss these moments together and talk through their potential impact.
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Empathy
Empathy allows us to keep the doors open to self-love, compassion, and kindness. When we are received with empathy, we have greater opportunities to heal from shame and silence.
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Anti-Oppression
I am in constant conversation with myself and others about what it means to decolonize mental health. In our therapy, this looks like:
framing your experience outside of pathology
celebrating your full power and resilience
centering joy, rest, and healing as acts of resistance
being transparent and curious about how systems of power and oppression are present in our own therapy
discussing what difference the difference makes (e.g., what might it mean for us to work together and have different identities and experiences?)
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Mindfulness
I invite you to notice your thoughts, feelings, and body sensations when discussing topics that range from heartfelt to challenging. Often our bodies feel things before we formulate thoughts, though this depends on our relationships to listening to the body, as many of us have been taught to override the body’s needs.
Within this frame, I borrow from mindfulness practitioner Tara Brach and ask, “What if this feeling or thought belongs? What happens when we take a rest from judgment, from fighting with ourselves, and sit with what is here? ” This practice is rooted in observing and accepting the present moment, rather than trying to intellectualize it.
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Play
In our therapy, play will mostly look like role-playing conversations either with different parts of ourselves or with others. An example of this is, “what do you imagine would happen if you did / said XYZ?”
I also encourage humor and laughing together—when it’s appropriate! Laughter teaches us a lot about how our bodies are feeling and where we feel open, as well as where we want to hide.
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Authenticity
I work with an open heart, connection to the body, and a sense of groundedness. I am not interested in being a blank slate or stoic presence. I am not neutral. I also do not have it all figured out, or have all of the answers. However, I do show up with the knowledge I have, and an abundance of empathy and readiness to sit with you in your process. As Jacob Ham of The Center for Child Trauma and Resilience says, “If you really want to work effectively with people, you have to keep surrendering your power. That means being humble and making mistakes and fumbling, and you have to be comfortable with that.”
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Collaboration
I am not here to impose an agenda; your healing is uniquely yours. I believe in direct, affirmative consent about what we work on and how we work together. I invite feedback to collaborate about what is going well in our therapy and what could benefit from some adjusting. Our work together is personalized to your specific needs.
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Hope
I embody the hope that change can occur. I would not be in this profession if I did not genuinely believe that people have the potential for substantial transformative healing.
Therapy is
an ongoing conversation,
a moment to breathe,
a safe place to land.
A person’s childhood is the prologue to their story.
— Samra Habib
Common threads in my approach
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Attachment
I return to early childhood relationships to explore our first experiences of love, nourishment, and compassion, as well as neglect, fear, and pain. These relationships are typically with the people in our families of origin, though this is not the case for everyone. By looking back, we can trace how these early relationships inform the way that we view ourselves and others, and how those views shape our current interactions, especially in close intimate relationships. Gaining insight can help us have a more balanced understanding of what we need to feel secure, and what patterns we engage in that might be getting in the way of achieving that security.
As mentioned earlier, an attachment lens can also provide insight into how you and I relate to each other, given that therapy involves closeness and intimacy. This is something that we may explore together.
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Storytelling
I believe in the power of story. Stories can connect us across generations and cultures, allowing us to learn more about who and where we come from. They can be part of some ancestral practices, in which certain sayings and tales are offered as guidance. They can help us make sense of who we are and what is happening in our lives.
I like to ask, “What is the story you tell yourself, about yourself?” We might notice that we speak critically about ourselves, or find ourselves stuck in the same story loop. We all hold the power to reclaim and re-write narratives that prioritize our worth, deepen our connection to self, and help us heal from shame.
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Body Focus
Sometimes we can focus so much on our thoughts that we miss how else our experiences manifest. Because the mind and body are so connected, I use a holistic approach in my practice to better understand the pain you might be experiencing.
Together, we can observe our breathing and notice ways that our bodies are trying to communicate with us (e.g., nausea during conflict, tense shoulders, racing heart when nervous, chronic headaches). We can explore how our bodies are archives of trauma and pain by asking, “Where does it hurt? Where do I hold this experience in my body? Is there a time in my life that this pain brings me back to?” In our work, we learn to practice compassion when we feel disconnected from our bodies, especially when we have histories of trauma and/or dysphoria.
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Internal Family Systems (IFS)
While I am not certified in Internal Family Systems, I am informed in the approach. IFS believes that we are made up of different parts, each of which plays a protective role. We get to know those parts better in order to build inner trust—trust to have flexible choices, reduce overwhelm, and increase connection with ourselves. Mindfulness is a central component, in that this approach focuses on what’s happening in the moment.
