Adolescent psychotherapy
working with teens
I worked in high schools for several years before moving into private practice. I saw hundreds of adolescents who needed a warm, nonjudgmental space where they could explore complex feelings with a safe adult. Despite the common belief that teens want to detach from adults, teens actually do want and need connection with them. They just might not be ready or know how to talk about these things with their families or other important people in their lives. This is a time in their development when staying connected is vital to their well-being, and it’s how therapy can be especially useful.
My own high school experience was not chill. I would have loved for a kind, caring adult to see how much I was struggling and talk with me about it in a way where I didn’t have to worry about getting in trouble or being judged. I value the opportunity to be this person for teens today.
aren’t teens just naturally angsty? hormonal? dramatic???
While this can be a tempting generalization to make about teenagers, it does not give us the opportunity to sit with the fullness of what teens are really experiencing.
Teens are going through a uniquely transformative time.
They are:
figuring out their place in the world
navigating multiple changes internally and externally
questioning their identities, values, belief systems, paradigms, relationships, and interests
exploring and building their strengths
navigating independence* for themselves and in relation to their families
finding their people and community
sifting through expectations of their futures
For teens, it can feel like their worlds are shifting, expanding, turning upside down and right side up constantly. An adolescent’s journey will also look different depending on their various cultural backgrounds.
*Achieving independence is treated as a common “milestone” for youth in Western individualistic cultures. However, not all young people have the same relationship to, or definition of, independence. Youth from collectivist cultures might not view independence as having space from their families. Or, they may want this space but it’s not what is encouraged in the family, resulting in tension.
I want to be in the beautiful dance with what’s dancing with me.
— adrienne maree brown
I can support with:
anxiety/worry
stress responses
coping skills
depression
problem-solving
grief
shame
In relation to:
Gender and sexuality exploration
Cultural identity exploration
Identifying creative pathways and outlets
Internalized and external oppression
Early childhood relationship wounds
Trauma histories and current experiences
Life transitions (moving, switching schools, caregiver separation or divorce, blending families, loss of a family member)
Perfectionism
Relationship challenges with family, friends, teachers, partners, peers
Over-extending oneself, or burnout
Finding a sense of community and belonging
Balancing independence with interdependence
Post-high school stress
“my kid won’t talk to me but they’ll talk to you?”
Having a teen in therapy can be challenging for caregivers and families who want to talk openly with their kids—especially if these kids were more transparent about their feelings prior to adolescence. I would feel the same way and I’m a therapist! There may even be some unconscious resentment toward me because of this. I get it. I’m not here to get in between families—quite the opposite.
My goals are to support teens with processing their many changes, expressing their emotions in a way that feels safe and aligned with their beliefs, and learning how to do so on their own and with their loved ones.
confidentiality & family involvement in therapy
To build a trusting relationship with adolescents, it’s important that they feel like their right to privacy and confidentiality is honored. They need to know that there aren’t restrictions to what they can talk about in therapy or that they’ll be asked to share all of the details with their family. I will, however, reach out immediately if there are any concerns about safety. We will talk about all of this at the beginning of therapy.
Research does show that the more caregivers / family members are actively involved in adolescents’ therapy, the more likely kids will experience lasting positive mental health outcomes. Involvement does not mean that families are privy to all of the information about sessions—again, trust! It also does not mean that there’s an expectation for you to feel comfortable with the idea of therapy 100% of the time. My hope is that we can talk about how to stay connected while making space for everyone to have their individual feelings.